Let me know if any of the links are expired or broken and I'll re-upload them if I have the time. Clips and sounds were made by me. Please don't put them up elsewhere without permission.

Too Sexy Stephen (Fanvid)
Fry Is Beautiful (Fanvid)

A Bit Of Fry & Laurie:

StephenCare - "I almost care." [MP3; 7.65k]
StephenCucumbers - "....These cocking cucumbers!" [MP3; 40.7k]
StephenGoodLoving - "Um, I'm looking for good loving, baby. Uh, that's what I aim to find." [MP3; 28.1k]
StephenHappy - "....Are you happy to have won the race?...." [MP3; 188k]
StephenHappy2 - "Are you happy?!" [MP3; 8.92k]
StephenHeat - (Bitch In Heat song by The Bishop & The Warlord) [MP3; 413k]
StephenKickinAss - (Hugh & Stephen perform the "Kickin' Ass" song) [MP3; 951k]
StephenOhYesHa - "Oh, yes! Ha ha ha ha!" [MP3; 11.9k]
StephenTomatoe - "Well, I mean, it's just that oh, why won't this freaking tomatoe behave?!" [MP3; 23.5k]
StephenTouchMe - "You can touch me. Hahahaha, I don't mind!" [MP3; 16.5k]
StephenWoof - "I'm a hard-headed woman. I'm a bitch on heat. Woof!" [MP3; 52.3k]
StephenAfter - "Dammit, Marjorie. What are you after?" [MP3; 22.3k]
StephenAlcoholic - "My name is Stephen Fry and I'm an alcoholic...." [MP3; 100k]
StephenAss - "Get that ass!" [MP3; 22.3k]
StephenBottoms - "Thousands of people are dying every year because no one will fondle their bottoms and you find that funny!" [MP3; 33k]
StephenBotty - "Please fondle my botty. Please." [MP3; 12.2k]
StephenBum - "That has got to be the cutest little bum ever!" [MP3; 22k]
StephenCarPark - "I see a car park." [MP3; 9.79k]
StephenCocoa1 - "Cocoa's coming in a minute." [MP3; 12.2k]
StephenCocoa2 - "I say your cocoa is coming in a minute." [MP3; 19.5k]
StephenDirty - "Until next time ladies and gentleman we say goodbye, but do remember this: Don't Be Dirty!" [MP3; 30.1k]
StephenDontBeDirty - "Hello and welcome to Don't Be Dirty." [MP3; 12.7k]
StephenErection - "Oh I think this is gonna give me an erection." [MP3; 11.4k]
StephenFatBlast - "Seven damns and a fat blast Marjorie! Haven't you given him cause enough?" [MP3; 29k]
StephenGoAway - "Go away! (cries)" [MP3; 20.7k]
StephenGod1 - "Where Adam explains to God." [MP3; 16.1k]
StephenGod2 - "God." [MP3; 6.73k]
StephenGristle - (The Bishop & The Warlord perform the Gristle song) [MP3; 402k]
StephenHarp - (Stephen plays the harmonica) [MP3; 59.8k]
StephenJohnLaugh - (John laughing) [MP3; 45.6k]
StephenKiss - "Yes! Now, honey. Don't you think that deserves a kiss?" [MP3; 29.6k]
StephenKissMe - "....Kiss me! Kiss me now!" [MP3; 44.3k]
StephenMarjorie - "Come here you, you, you Marjorie." [MP3; 27.2k]
StephenNaked - "Who told you you were naked?" [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenOhInteresting - "Oh! That's interesting!" [MP3; 7.78k]
StephenShoveIt - "Now I can't do that, as you very well know, the department is a large building housing hundreds of people, I couldn't possibly shove it up my ass without a great deal of discomfort." [MP3; 54.9k]
StephenWhoCares - "Oh who cares about the stupid little invasion?" [MP3; 19.5k]
StephenWoman - (The Bishop performs in court) [MP3; 139k]
StephenYouYouYou - (Stephen performs the You You You song) [MP3; 687k]
StephenBePardon - "I beg your pardon?" [MP3; 10.1k]
StephenDalliardEverybodys - "But he is not my Mr. Dalliard. He's everybody's Mr. Dalliard!" [MP3; 36.4k]
StephenDalliardPeep - "Mr. Dalliard! We have a three-way! Meet you at the peephole!" [MP3; 23.5k]
StephenDalliardShoes - "Mr. Dalliard! The gentleman wants to buy a pair of shoes!" [MP3; 26.6k]
StephenDalliardTalk - "Mr. Dalliard! I've started to talk drivel, now!" [MP3; 16.2k]
StephenDalliardShop - "Ah! Good morning to you, sir. Mr. Dalliard! We have a gentleman in the shop!" [MP3; 27.8k]
StephenWintry1 - "It is fact rather win....try." [MP3; 19.8k]
StephenWintry2 - "Very very win....try." [MP3; 21.7k]
StephenWintry3 - "Indeed. So from win....triness to you young Master Jowett." [MP3; 32.1k]
StephenParselaine - "Dammit, Parselaine!" [MP3; 21.7k]
StephenBoh1 - "Boh!" 1 [MP3; 21.5k]
StephenBoh2 - "Boh!" 2 [MP3; 21.5k]


Alfresco:

StephenTalkDirty - "I love it when you talk dirty to me." [MP3; 10.7k]
StephenMrTambourineMessage - (Stephen & Hugh sing Mr. Tambourine Man) [MP3; 66.4k]


The Best Bits Interview:

StephenAtAll - "It is not my thing at all." [MP3; 7.34k]
StephenBlimey - "....Blimey!...." [MP3; 33.6k]
StephenBottom - (Stephen says "Bottom" several ways) [MP3; 78.6k]
StephenCellarDoor - "....Hahahahaha, cellardoor?...." [MP3; 95.2k]
StephenDarling - "Goodbye, my darling." [MP3; 6.42k]
StephenDontKnow - "I don't know." [MP3; 9.79k]
StephenGreen - "Hahahahahaha! I have no idea. Green?" [MP3; 16.5k]
StephenHahahahaha - "Hahahahaha!" [MP3; 6.42k]
StephenInteresting - "That's interesting." [MP3; 8.26k]
StephenLaugh - (Stephen laughs) [MP3; 7.65k]
StephenLaugh1 - "Oh, definitely Bright Young Things, for me...." [MP3; 66.1k]
StephenNature - "....Yes, I'm afraid nature has ordered things otherwise...." [MP3; 37k]
StephenOh - "Oh." [MP3; 5.20k]
StephenQuiteRight - "Oh, yes, quite right!" [MP3; 9.18k]
StephenUm - "Um." [MP3; 4.89k]
StephenWow - "Wow." [MP3; 6.42k]


Blackadder:

StephenRow - (Stephen and Hugh sing Row Row Row Your Boat) [MP3; 34.4k]
StephenSweetLove - "What the world needs now is love, sweet love." [MP3; 17.3k]
StephenShout - "Baaa!" [MP3; 8.26k]
StephenBaaa1 - "Baaa!" (1) [MP3; 8.26k]
StephenBaaa2 - "Baaa!" (2) [MP3; 8.26k]
StephenTea - "Teaaaaaaa!" [MP3; 7.04k]


Happy Families:

StephenHappy1 - (Laughing 1) [MP3; 5.61k]
StephenHappy2 - (Laughing 2) [MP3; 6.37k]


Hysteria:

StephenHysteriaClitoris - "And very luckily, literally just this minute, the word blimey agreed to take on the part of the word clitoris." [MP3; 42.8k]
StephenHysteriaFck - "At the last minute, the word f^ck had to pull out of the show." [MP3; 23.8k]
StephenHysteriaFckFamily - "....F^ck and his family, f^cks, f^cked, f^cking.…" [MP3; 99.7k]
StephenHysteriaGosh - "And the word gosh will be doubling as hell, sh!t, b!tch and p!ss." [MP3; 34.2k]
StephenPiano2 - (Stephen plays the piano: II) [MP3; 46.1k]


Hysteria 2:

StephenBollocks - "3, 2, 1, bollocks!" [MP3; 11.4k]
StephenLove - "....I've rather fallen in love with you...." [MP3; 53.5k]
StephenPiano1 - (Stephen plays the piano: I) [MP3; 38.2k]
StephenPlayItBitch - "Play it. I said play it, bitch!" [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenSenfckingsational - "Sen-f^cking-sational." [MP3; 8.92k]
StephenSob - "Son of a bitch." [MP3; 3.31k]


I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue:

StephenPie - (Stephen singing "American Pie") [MP3; 539k]


Jeeves & Wooster:

StephenAskDad - (Jeeves & Wooster sing "Ask Dad") [MP3; 303k]
StephenJeeves - "My name is Jeeves." [MP3; 10.7k]
JeevesTheme - (Jeeves & Wooster Intro Theme) [MP3; 824k]


The New Statesman:

Stephen - "Manager!" [MP3; 16.2k]
Stephen - "Waiter!" [MP3; 10.1k]


Peter's Friends:

PetersFriendsRevueSong - (The cast sings the "Farewell '82 Revue" Song" [MP3; 1.93k]


Pocoyo:

StephenBallOrchestra - "Oh look, it's the Ball Orchestra. I just love their music." [MP3; 38.8k]
StephenByeBye - "Bye bye! See you soon!" [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenDance - "Wow Pato. That dance looks really cool." [MP3; 84.1k]
StephenDanceElly - "Oh I say, what a beautiful dance Elly." [MP3; 39.1k]
StephenEllyKeep - "Exactly, Elly! Keep it going!" [MP3; 19.2k]
StephenGettingIt - "Yes, Pato! Now you're getting it!" [MP3; `8.9k]
StephenGetUpDance - "Ha, what fun! And now, let's all dance. Everybody, get up and dance." [MP3; 41.6k]
StephenGone - "I think the orchestra has finished their music. I'm afraid they've gone, Pocoyo. Yes, it's too bad. It was beautiful music, wasn't it?" [MP3; 97k]
StephenHelloPocoyo - "Hello Pocoyo!" [MP3; 32.1k]
StephenHurray - "Ah, so many different ways to dance. Everyone can have a go! Hurray for dancing. And for Pocoyo." [MP3; 61.8k]
StephenIdea - "Oh, I think Pocoyo has an idea." [MP3; 20.8k]
StephenIt - "What? You don't know how to dance like Pato? And you don't know how to dance like Elly, either? Is that it?" [MP3; 87.2k]
StephenMakeMusic - "So you see, there are lots of ways to make music. Play along with us, why don't you? Hurray for Pocoyo! Bye! See you soon!" [MP3; 75.3k]
StephenMoreMusic - "I don't think the orchestra is coming back right now. Yes, I know. I wonder if you can think of a way to make more music, Pocoyo." [MP3; 71k]
StephenNoise - "I think Sleepy Bird was awakened by all the noise. Uh, I mean by all the wonderful music." [MP3; 45.9k]
StephenOhLook - "Oh, look! It's Pato! Ooh! I mean, ahem, look here's Pato." [MP3; 43.4k]
StephenPlayMusic - "Oh, my! I think the Ball Orchestra want to play music with you and your friends, Pocoyo." [MP3; 41.3k]
StephenQuiet - "Hello, Pocoyo. Have you come to listen to the Ball Orchestra play some lovely music? Oh, excuse me, Pocoyo. I think Pocoyo wants to listen. I'll try to be quiet." [MP3; 103k]
StephenRadio - "Yes! It's a radio!" [MP3; 18.3k]
StephenShowUsDance - "So how about it? Show us the Pocoyo dance!" [MP3; 26.9k]
StephenSorry - "Ooh! I thinks someone's coming! Who can it be, Pocoyo? Can any of you tell Pocoyo who's coming? Yes, it's Elly! Hello, Elly! Ooh, I keep forgetting." [MP3; 114k]
StephenSurprise - "Oh, my, that was a surprise!" [MP3; 25.7k]
StephenTellDance - "Do any of you want to see Pocoyo's dance? Maybe you should let him know that you'd like to see him dance. Go ahead, tell Pocoyo you want to see him dance!" [MP3; 89k]
StephenToDance - "What's wrong Pocoyo? Don't you want to dance?" [MP3; 49.5k]
StephenVeryGood - "Mm, that doesn't sound very good, Pocoyo." [MP3; 27.8k]
StephenWrongPocoyo - "What's wrong, Pocoyo?" [MP3; 39.7k]
StephenYourselves - "Oh, look! Pocoyo's brought some musical instruments! A set of cymbals, a drum and a trumpet...." [MP3; 140k]
StephenOhDearElly - "Oh, dear." [MP3; 26.6k]


Q.I.:

StephenAlan - "Now, from one shocking image to another, why shouldn't I strip Alan naked and cover him with gold paint?" [MP3; 41.6k]
StephenCaravans - "Caravans, ladies and gentlemen." [MP3; 12.7k]
StephenMistress - "Language is a strange thing but she's my mistress, good night." [MP3; 18k]
StephenMustache - "Why not? She's a person, it just seemed-- Barbra Streisand ate her mustache and poo'd it. Seemed amusing to me." [MP3; 47.7k]
StephenSay - "Did you just say what I thought you said?" [MP3; 10.4k]
StephenStool - "Little babys first stool." [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenBand - "Yo ho Great Britain, how you doing? Great to be back. Woo! Let me introduce the band!" [MP3; 23.2k]
StephenBookAssGravy - "....It is complete loose stool water, it is ass gravy of the worst kind." [MP3; 71.1k]
StephenBother - "Oh, bother. Bother, bother bother. How am I going to live with myself?" [MP3; 36.1k]
StephenBuggerBaa - "Hey, is that me? Oh, bugger you. I don't sound like that. Baa!" [MP3; 45.9k]
StephenBullshit - "(cough) Bullsh!t!" [MP3; 4.89k]
StephenChinese - "....Stiff fragrant husband come...." [MP3; 86.6k]
StephenCrack - "You never know, it might have saved his life. It might have just caught in the crack and he would swing from it. That did come out oddly, but you know what I mean." [MP3; 56.6k]
StephenDingo - "And a dingo." [MP3; 4.20k]
StephenDontLook - "Oh, don't look at me like that. You (beeping) pig-eyed sack of sh!t!" [MP3; 28.4k]
StephenDuckSneeze - (Stephen sneezes like Donald Duck) [MP3; 4.08k]
StephenJapanese1 - (Stephen impersonates the Japanese) [MP3; 135k]
StephenJapanese2 - (Shorter version of Stephen impersonating the Japanese) [MP3; 22.3k]
StephenJosie - (Stephen claims that Josie's story is bullsh!t) [MP3; 97k]
StephenMoth - "So I've got a moth ball in this hand, and a moth ball in that hand, what have I got? A rather excited moth." [MP3; 35.9k]
StephenMustard - "(Vincent Price voice) Could you pass the mustard, please?" [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenSmackFairy - "....Any more of that behaviour, she said to the dog, you'll have a short, sharp visit from the Smack Fairy!" [MP3; 116k]
StephenSoMuchAss - "Something tells me it is so much ass." [MP3; 19.2k]
StephenSpeak - (Stephen impersonating Vincent Price) [MP3; 22.3k]
StephenTrousers - "Unlike my trousers. Why do they go in that area. Maybe flesh and blood, I suppose. While you're down there, my dear. Good Heavens above." [MP3; 123k]
StephenVincent - "(Vincent Price voice) Starred Vincent Price." [MP3; 11.2k]
StephenWoo - "Woo!" [MP3; 2.55k]
StephenLikeStephen - "....I like Stephen." [MP3; 31.5k]
StephenPainter - (Stephen talks about a painter in a southern accent) [MP3; 38.5k]
StephenBehQi - "Beeeh!" [MP3; 10.8k]
StephenQiChildren - "Children, whatever you do, please please try and walk on as much custard as you can." [MP3; 27.2k]
StephenQiCustard - (Stephen naughtily describes custard) [MP3; 129k]
StephenQiOblate - "Well, I can say with some confidence ladies and gentleman, the world is not round. It is an oblate spheroid." [MP3; 32.7k]
StephenQiSirOff - "....You've set me off. You've set sir off, again." [MP3; 85.4k]
StephenQiSwazzle - "If you don't take your swazzles out very soon, I will kill you. Thank you. Yes." [MP3; 40.7k]
StephenQiHeeHaw - "Hee haw." [MP3; 8.41k]


Q.I. DVD Game:

StephenImWaiting - "I'm waiting." [MP3; 35.5k]
StephenMoveOn - "Oh, come on. Get a move on." [MP3; 10.7k]
StephenNoNoNo - "No! No no no no no no no." [MP3; 21.1k]
StephenTimesWasting - "Time's a'wasting." [MP3; 16.5k]
StephenVeryWrong - "Not right! No, that's so not right; it's very wrong." [MP3; 29.3k]
StephenWrong1 - "Wrong." [MP3; 10.7k]
StephenWrong2 - "Wrong!" [MP3; 7.04k]
StephenWrongPower3 - "Oh, wrong to the power of three." [MP3; 18.9k]
StephenWrongPower32 - "Oh, no, wrong to the power of thirty-two." [MP3; 26.3k]
StephenWrongWrong - "Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong." [MP3; 23.8k]
StephenYesWellDone - "Yes, well done! Good start." [MP3; 18.3k]


Room 101:

StephenAQI - (Stephen talks about the Australian Question Internation) [MP3; 89.5k]
StephenLike - "....And I was like, well my name's Steve...." [MP3; 66.8k]
StephenMandy - "You know, my name is Mandy and I wanna be class president." [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenOi - "Oi, noi!" [MP3; 5.61k]
StephenOiNoi - (Stephen explains how Australians speak) [MP3; 47.1k]
StephenWest - (Stephen talks about Western Americas manner of speaking) [MP3; 111k]
StephenWhatever - "Whatever." [MP3; 5.35k]


Ring tones:
Purchase and download them here.

StephenRingAnotherText - "Another text message!" [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenRingAnswerMe - "Answer me, damn you! Will you answer me?" [MP3; 22.3k]
StephenRingBaaa - "Baaa!" [MP3; 9.18k]
StephenRingBreast - "Email for you offering breast enlargement." [MP3; 18k]
StephenRingCheck - "Check the inbox on that!" [MP3; 12.2k]
StephenRingCooee - "Cooee!" [MP3; 15k]
StephenRingDing - "Dong dong! Someone's calling!" [MP3; 20.8k]
StephenRingGreen - "Push the green button!" [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenRingHell - "What fresh hell is this?" [MP3; 18k]
StephenRingHer - "Someone's calling you. Could be her." [MP3; 16.5k]
StephenRingHim - "Someone's calling you. Could be him." [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenRingIncoming - "Incoming. Incoming." [MP3; 14.6k]
StephenRingKind - "If you'd be so kind." [MP3; 12.2k]
StephenRingLoves - "Your phone's ringing! Someone loves you!" [MP3; 12.2k]
StephenRingMobile - "Mail. On your mobile." [MP3; 12.2k]
StephenRingNewEmail - "A new email." [MP3; 12.5k]
StephenRingNewText - "New text message!" [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenRingOwner - "Despite the general instructions to switch off all mobile phones, my owner has left me on. He is a wazzock." [MP3; 47.4k]
StephenRingPhone - "Uh, excuse me. You're wanted on the phone." [MP3; 15k]
StephenRingPopular - "Well. Somebody's popular." [MP3; 18k]
StephenRingRingtone - "Ring tone! Ring tone! Expensive ring tone!" [MP3; 28.1k]
StephenRingSir - "Uh, begging your pardon, sir. Uh, shall I pick up the instrument?" [MP3; 22.3k]
StephenRingSo - "You have so got an email!" [MP3; 13.7k]
StephenRingStare - "Is this making people stare at you?" [MP3; 12.2k]
StephenRingTalk - "Talk to me!" [MP3; 9.18k]
StephenRingTalking - "Talking mobiles. Whatever next?" [MP3; 19.5k]


Saturday Live:

StephenBitch - "Play it, bitch!" [MP3; 7.65k]
StephenPiano2 - (Stephen plays the piano: II) [MP3; 46.1k]
StephenSong - (Stephen sings You Better Look Out For Me, Baby) [MP3; 288k]


The Secret Policeman's Third Ball:

StephenBed - "I want to go to bed with you." [MP3; 16.5k]


Top Gear:

StephenDick - "Doesn't he look a d!ck?" [MP3; 6.42k]
StephenMoist - "It wasn't impressive, but it was mildly moist." [MP3; 14.3k]
StephenReally - "Really." [MP3; 7.95k]
StephenSheriff - (Stephen does an impersonation of an American sheriff) [MP3; 71k]

Various:

StephenCrikey - "Crikey!" [MP3; 8.26k]
StephenStiff - "No, I said a stiff martini, Jeeves. A stiff martini." [MP3; 24.0k]


Whose Line Is It Anyway?:

StephenKnee - "Could you take your hand off my f^cking knee?" [MP3; 28.4k]


Wilde Website:
Recorded from here.

StephenWildeGenius - "I have nothing to declair but my genius." [Quicktime; 35.9k]
StephenWildeLove - "One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry." [Quicktime; 70.5k]
StephenWildePoor - "If the poor only had profiles, there would be no difficulty in solving the problem of poverty." [Quicktime; 83.2k]
StephenWildeStupidity - "There is no sin except stupidity." [Quicktime; 41.2k]
StephenWildeTruth - "The truth is rarely pure and never simple." [Quicktime; 47.1k]
StephenWildeWelcome - "Welcome to the Wilde website. I am Stephen Fry and I shall be your tour guide as we learn more about our film on the life of Oscar Wilde. Throughout the site, you will see Wildean phrases and epigraphs. Simply click on a phrase to hear it spoken." [Quicktime; 231k]